


The Love Interview: A Valentine's Day Disaster

by RB (BlueflowersandWings)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Boys In Love, Comedy, Don't copy to another site, M/M, Oikawa runs a magazine, Romance, Yamaguchi gets an interview, Yamaguchi's POV, kurotsuki fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:08:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22513003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueflowersandWings/pseuds/RB
Summary: "Um, okay. Let's get started," Yamaguchi nervously clears his throat, and stares at the couple sitting on the couch opposite him. "Please tell us where and how you two first met each other."Kuroo and Tsukishima share a secret glance, one that transcends mere physicality, and answer together at the exact same time."In high school.""In a bus."Cool, they were off to a great start already.(Or, Yamaguchi gets to interview that one couple on campus who might follow through with the dating advice they give, and maybe it's his best interview yet. Even Oikawa-san approves. Read more for the full interview, Kurotsuki being in love, and Yamaguchi discovering what it's like surviving a five-year old romantic relationship in college. With Yachi's blessings, of course.)
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 11
Kudos: 195





	The Love Interview: A Valentine's Day Disaster

The day Yamaguchi gathered some of his mostly non-existent courage, and decided to try out something new and unconventional for probably the second time in his life, he had not expected to find himself in a situation like this. Namely, standing outside the door of his childhood best friend while having a small, unreasonable meltdown, as the cold wind sent bites and shivers all over his face, blowing shrill like a whistle through the leaves. His breath cold, back hunched, Yamaguchi inhaled deep, and knocked tentatively on the door in front.

One, two, three. "Tsukki, it's me." He waited, then knocked again for emphasis. It wasn't compulsory, but he needed a way to contain his nerves without bursting into a disproportionate ball of hot sweat and embarrassment, so the extra knocks were justifiable.

 _Yachi-san, please give me strength_ , he silently pleaded. The wind howled gleefully in response.

A second passed. Before he could breathe out, the door in front opened with a swish from the inside.

  


**.**  
**.**

It all began that one snowy night, when the wind was howling outside, harsh with snow, and a very disoriented Yamaguchi Tadashi impulsively dialled the number on autopilot and called before he had a chance to rethink his actions.

"Tadashi, are you _drunk_?"

His conscience returns only when he hears his given name tumble from the quiet voice on the other side of the phone. Tsukki never calls him _Tadashi_ , makes it a point not to- unless something dire has shown itself in front of his slightly sceptical, logic-riddled attention, and it's not in his best interests to totally, completely avoid it. A drunk Yamaguchi is probably something that reaches those standards, and the freckled college-goer doesn't give himself enough time to backtrack before he is spilling everything that had inebriated him enough to drunk-call his best friend on a night he should have devoted to studying and writing articles instead.

The second time he loses (and finds) his conscience, Yamaguchi can hear Tsukki's silence turning into a sigh over the phone. "You really _are_ drunk," he mutters incredulously, with a second sigh. "Fine, I'll ask Kuroo-san about it. See you on Monday."

The line clicks off abruptly, and Yamaguchi sways on his feet, confused. He looks down at his phone. The caller info shows it was a seven-minute call, but honestly, he can't remember a second of it.

He's too drunk, really. Agreeing to join Kindaichi and the others to the pub was a mistake, and it's not often he regrets making a conscious, sensible decision since he's turned eighteen. Sadly, it's not the first time this week, and probably not the last. With a disoriented gaze, he casts a forlorn glance at the empty pages sprawled on the desk, pens scattered messy- and plops down on the couch, drunk and exhausted and past caring for words and editors and editorial-life frustrations.

He's gonna ask Tsukki what the call was about on Monday. Maybe even apologise for whatever he had rambled without any self-control (he's still confused about the _'asking Kuroo-san'_ part). For now he's going to sleep, and hope to probably wake up before Oikawa-san remembers he still hasn't submitted his article for the month yet. He always catches Yamaguchi red-handed, which is probably the second scariest thing about him.

The first with him simply being _Oikawa Tohru_. They've long crossed high-school, but Yamaguchi is still low-key afraid of him, and he's sure Hinata can agree. 

When Yamaguchi finally wakes up, it shows a dot eleven-thirty on the clock. There are a few dozen missed calls from Oikawa-san, along with fifteen different texts beginning with _Yama-kun_ and _Valentine's articles_ and _you should never be late in the professional world, Yama-kun_ ; and he throws his phone on the carpet below, groaning in defeat.

  


**.  
** **.**

When Monday finally arrives, and Yamaguchi rushes up the college stairs just in time to catch his friend on his way to the cafeteria, Tsukishima greets him with a more curious look than usual. His initial goal was to find out what had transpired between them over the phone from that night he remembers so less of; but when Tsukki explains every point about that as crisply as possible, Yamaguchi wishes he had never really asked.

He also wishes he had not gone out that night. With Kindaichi. He's not drinking again. He's _never_ drinking again, and definitely not with Kindaichi and his friends.

"I said _what_?!"

He also embarrassed himself in front of Tsukki. _Tsukishima Kei_. Yamaguchi believes there are a few people in the world in front of whom one should never embarrass themselves, and Tsukishima Kei comes on the top of that list. Probably followed closely by Kozume-san, and one Akaashi Keiji.

"For the record," Tsukki glances at him over his can of Strawberry Milk, golden eyes looking away, "Kuroo-san said he wouldn't mind. He was pretty excited, actually. Said he'd even forget it was about helping Oikawa-san, if you guys did a good job editing that interview or something."

"But that's _beside the point!_ " Yamaguchi exclaims, arms flailing, hair flying, cheeks as red as two ripe, blushing tomatoes. "You mean to say I asked you to give an interview with Kuroo-san so that I could submit my article before Oikawa-san murders me at the end of the month? You mean to say I asked you to sacrifice precious college time to give some dating advice and things for a student magazine you don't even read? I did a _horrible_ thing Tsukki- a horrible thing, and I don't know if I can apologise enough to make up for it!"

"You don't need to," Tsukishima looked seriously at him, emptying his drink in a long, final swig. "I know you were drunk, and that's enough excuse. It's a bit annoying, but-"

"Tsukki, it is _horrible_!" Yamaguchi almost slams his head on the table, crushing his own can of orange juice within desperate fingers. "Dreadful! Totally, unbelievably disastrous! How could I ever do this? How could _you_ ever agree to do this? Drinking is no excuse, Tsukki- I was sane, I was late, I was irresponsible, and I'm _an adult for heaven's sake, I should have some control-_ "

"Yamaguchi, stop." Tsukishima cuts in, voice low but firm. Yamaguchi tucks his face inside folded arms, panting, but he can hear his friend perfectly when he says, "It's- It's not a very bad idea, okay? I mean, the interview topic sucks but, it won't be too bad if you're the one taking it. It's a pain, but it won't last longer than an hour at most. And-" he coughs a little here, almost deliberately, "this is- this is definitely something you care about so.. if you want, I could help you out a bit. Only if you want."

A murky silence hangs over his head, for one second, then three, then ten. Slowly, Yamaguchi looks up, and casts a hopeful gaze at the unfairly tall person sitting across him on the table.

"Tsukki, do you mean it?"

Tsukishima sighs, adjusting his glasses. "Yeah.. I guess. Kuroo-san's free this Wednesday, so you can come over around five."

"You mean, you really don't have any problem with it? With the topic, or revealing things about your dating life, or answering annoying student queries or something?"

"You did say it would be anonymous," Tsukishima shrugs, crossing his hands. He always does that when he refuses his nerves to get the better of him. "I don't think it'd be a problem like that. And if people can't bear reading about two guys sharing their experiences together, then they can just go fuck themselves."

Yamaguchi's eyes slowly widen, the magic of sheer reality finally seeping into his lost springs of perpetual hope and optimism. " _Tsukki_ ," he gushes, starry-eyed and grateful, "That'd be the best! The absolute best! I can't- I can't even begin to- Thank you so much! So so much! I can't believe this is actually happening!"

He stands up from his chair with a violent sound, bending over the table to grab Tsukki's hands within his. "Thank you so much, Tsukki," he grins, all freckles and teeth, and it takes him a moment to register how the tips of Tsukki's ears had turned red, his nose and pale cheeks softening into the lightest shade of rose.

"It's nothing," a worked-up, _totally_ blushing Tsukki replies roughly, golden eyes looking away behind rectangular, black-rimmed glasses. "Don't mention it. It's annoying, really, but Kuroo-san said it'd be a good thing to try out, and it's fine if it's you. Don't make me regret it, Yamaguchi."

Yamaguchi blinks, lips opening and closing like a fish. In all the years they've been friends, he has never seen Tsukishima blush before. Never imagined he would, not so strongly and with such unfair ease. Maybe being in love actually does that to people, more to those who don't think about or expect it. Five years before, Tsukishima Kei had been a person like that, and Yamaguchi had seen him stumble and deny and fall and finally finally accept that maybe falling for a third year volleyball captain from another school wasn't the worst of ideas, after all. It was a disaster, really, his journey to stumbling and fighting and finally embracing the fact that he might have certain romantic inclinations towards another human being on the planet, a _guy_ on top of that; but Tsukki had persevered through all. He had grown, and matured, and yet stayed the same as he was before.

"I won't. I promise."

He just shared his life with another person now. Yamaguchi couldn't be happier for his friend, but it seemed he still had a lot to know about the things that had inevitably changed within the last five years.

It was still a mystery to him, that small thing called _love_ ; especially when the blush on Tsukki's face didn't seem to fade even after five whole minutes. But maybe, just maybe, he'd be closer to unravelling it within the next two days.

  


**.**  
**.**  


"Oh ho ho, long time no see, Freckles-kun."

Yamaguchi startles as the door opens, and instead of Tsukishima's polite, curt greeting, it is a louder, more enthused voice that beckons him into the tiny, one bedroom apartment. The figure of a tall man, with tanned arms, broad shoulders, a handsome grin, and wind-ruffled hair extends a hand out to him in jovial greeting, and Yamaguchi takes it instinctively in a firm, shaky handshake, .

"Sorry," Kuroo grins at him sheepishly, hair sticking out like a bird's nest over his head. "Kei's taking a bath, so you might have to wait for a bit."

"Oh," Yamaguchi nods quickly. "It's alright. Thank you very much for having me."

He was nervous, yes. But Tsukishima's five-year old boyfriend was one of those human beings who had an affinity for bringing out the nervousness from him in full, doubled force. Even when he was warmly welcoming him into his and Tsukki's three-year old shared abode, Yamaguchi couldn't help but think about all the worst possible ways this whole thing could go wrong. Losing his job was only the least of his worries.

"Please excuse the intrusion," he mutters lightly, stepping into the apartment. The door closes shut behind, and staring at Kuroo's muscled, well-built back, the sense of acute dread he had felt at the cafeteria two days before comes back to hit him unceremoniously.

  


**(** The reason why he- a sweet-tempered, relatively normal college student with normal talents, normal interests and a more-or-less normal life- had winded up in an unexpected and potentially explosive situation such as now is _this_ : there are arguably two times in history that he had decided to walk out of his comfort zone and take some _risks_ , some major, life-altering decisions, and on the second time, his attempt had backfired ridiculously. The first major decision he had took was joining the volleyball club in preschool; and the second, more hazardous one was when he had discovered how many of his familiar acquaintances had ended up in the same college as him, and thus decided to join in as a part of the godforsaken Editorial Team of Oikawa Tohru's _Student Weekly_ magazine. It was a lame name to give to a student magazine, he knew- but Yamaguchi liked the people, and submitting an article monthly about whatever the hot topic around campus was at the moment didn't seem too impossible a task.

Yet.

Because there was a reason Tsukki had flat-out rejected Oikawa-san's over-the-top employment offers on their very first day at campus. He always had a reason behind doing things. Yamaguchi, on the other hand, had took up the proposal excitedly (or had Oikawa-san bewitched him? He doesn't remember), but as it is, he was facing the consequences now.

Officially, he was a journalist for the _Student Weekly_ , just a start-up, habitual writer; but some of his middle-sized articles on Oppressive Classes, Sleep-induced Exam Sentiments, and Too-Boring Literature Lectures had gained quite the popularity with the student body. He was a regular now, to the point that Iwaizumi-san mentioned him first whenever there was a rare topic waiting to have someone write about it; he might not be very good with words, but was apparently _'a giant fucking revolution with a pen'_ (some of his admirers' words, not his). He had had an enjoyable career at the magazine, the whole past year; but his work hinged entirely upon the general student sentiment, and one often times forgot that _that_ was one of the most unpredictable mob forces to encounter in humankind's history.

See, rebuking the education system and the lack of proper sleep schedule among students was quite easy if you got the hang of it. But things got a tiny bit complicated when all everyone talked about was _Love_ and _Dates_ and the mythical _How to Make your Crush Fall In Love with You 101_ during the godforsaken month of February. For Yamaguchi, a normal guy who was apparently too inexperienced in these particular subjects to be acceptable- a non-submission of an article on _this_ hot topic might spell the end of his whole part-time career as a journalist. Oikawa-san didn't look like it, but he was scary like that. It was not Yamaguchi's fault that there isn't a single couple on campus who could give some good dating advice for students while actually _following_ it, and his own parents would probably murder him if he asked them for help.

It wasn't Valentine's Day's fault people made such a fuss about these things, but Yamaguchi officially hated February.

 _"Don't be nervous, and try to do what you usually do, okay?"_ Yachi had comforted him over the phone line, when he had explained the situation to her in a frankly sad turn of events. _"Oikawa-san just wants an interview with a couple who's going pretty solid at the moment, and who can recall having a shared romantic experience that won't be too boring for the students' taste. You know, give some dating advice, answer some common queries, things like that. You won't believe how people are going crazy over the freshmen joining this year- it's terrible, really."_

 _"I _feel_ terrible,"_ he had answered back, the rest of the call being a blur in his memory. He's making a habit of forgetting calls, honestly. He had called Yachi up just before coming over to Tsukki's place, and now, at the moment, Yachi's advice doesn't seem very reliable.

 _"Don't worry, he's your best friend, right?"_ she had consoled him sweetly, encouragingly. _"I'm sure Tsukishima-kun wouldn't mind. And this way, you'd get to know Kuroo-san properly too, right?"_

 _This is not what a journalist does,_ Yamaguchi laments to himself, thinking just how morally twisted he has had to become to survive in the real adult world. _Interviewing your best friend on his dating life when he would rather murder someone than do that is just terrible._ Despite everything still, he takes out his lucky ball pen and striped notebook, and tries to make himself even remotely comfortable on Tsukki's couch. The next hour was going to be a long, long one. **)**

  


**.**  
**.**

"Um, okay. Let's get started," fifteen minutes later, Yamaguchi nervously clears his throat, and stares right at the couple sitting on the couch opposite him. "Please tell us where and how you two first met each other."

Kuroo and Tsukishima share a secret glance, one that transcends mere physicality, and answer together at the exact same time.

"In high school."

"In a bus."

Cool, they were off to a great start already.

"Um, your answers don't quite match?" Yamaguchi remarked, scribbling down subconsciously in his notebook as Tsukishima glared daggers at a grinning Kuroo. "Could you please elaborate?"

"Of course," Tsukishima looked at him, turning away from his boyfriend with a huff. "I met Kuroo-san when we were in high school. We were both in volleyball clubs, and our respective schools arranged a practice match with each other. It was after that that we had our first conversation."

 _Yup. Been there, seen that._ Yamaguchi scribbles on the page, familiar with the rest of the story. He remembers those days like they happened only yesterday. As soon as Tsukishima finishes though, Kuroo perks up beside him, and turns to Yamaguchi with a crooked, catlike grin.

"It's my turn to elaborate, no?" he smiles in quiet amusement, and glances at Tsukishima with a warm, fond look. "As I said before, I think I first met Kei in a bus. Seriously."

"And _I_ think you're stupid," Tsukishima quips, crossing his hands across his chest. "That time hardly counts as a first meeting, Tetsurou."

"It does to me," Kuroo wraps a hand around Tsukishima's shoulders, who surprisingly does not flinch away from the touch. "Listen here, Freckles-kun. It's true that we had our first conversation in high school, through volleyball and stuff. But I first saw Kei when we were on a bus, from Tokyo Station to Miyagi. He didn't see me, of course, but I was there, with my school volleyball team, and there was surprisingly a less amount of seats. I had to stand, holding the rails, and there was this tall, blonde guy in front, with headphones in his ears, one hand on the rail and one on his phone. I dunno what about him just _stuck_ to me-"

"I'm betting it's the glasses," Yamaguchi remarked, thoroughly invested, forgetting his neutral role for a moment.

"-Yeah, maybe. Or maybe it was just how _cute_ he looked," Kuroo grinned, eyes twinkling, as Tsukishima's cheeks went a charming shade of scarlet. "I mean, I had never met someone who could stare you down and make you question your entire existence while looking that adorable _ever_. Of course I was interested. We parted ways after the bus ride, and I was going to lament never meeting him again for the rest of the week- _going to_ being the keyword here, 'cuz who knew I'd see that guy just the day after, looking bored outta his mind and staring at me with distaste right across the net? I guess it was sheer destiny."

"I don't know how I didn't notice his hair that day," Tsukishima points almost accusingly at Kuroo, looking at Yamaguchi for support. "I'm very sure something was wrong with me that time."

"I wonder that too, actually," Kuroo mused, dramatic. "It's a wonder how _anyone_ couldn't notice my absolutely charming, magnificent presence right behind them. Perhaps it's a matter of intelligence- nothing we can control, really."

The grin Kuroo held was what anyone would dub as nothing but _devious_ ; and if glares could kill, Tsukishima might have shredded and poisoned and shredded his boyfriend repeatedly by now. Trying to avoid an explosive lovers' spat, yet horribly interested, Yamaguchi cleared his throat again. "Okay, next. You said you guys met in high school- so what was it that first attracted you towards each other?"

"Ah, that's a tough one," Tsukishima remarked drily, finally gaining a foothold onto familiar sarcasm. "Even now, I sometimes come up blank as to why I ever thought talking to him might be a remotely good idea."

Kuroo placed a hand over his chest and let out a loud, petulant groan. "Kei, you wound me," he said, trying to snuggle closer as Tsukishima actually moved away this time. "This is an interview, you know? You should be saying good things about me, not whatever you're saying right now."

"Truth hurts, Tetsurou. Deal with it."

Kuroo whistles lowly, straightening on the couch. "Okay. Cool," he remarks, turning to Yamaguchi with an almost serene, angelic smile. "Tsukki might be at a loss for words, but I've always been fluent. As I said, the insane level of cuteness he displayed on the bus made it clear I wasn't going to forget him in hurry. We played a match the next day, against each other, and even though he totally _sucked_ -"

A vein popped in Tsukishima's forehead. Yamaguchi almost dropped his pen at the look of absolute blankness marring his face.

"-I thought he was still cute. I tried to talk to him later, after the match was over, but he completely ignored me. He's not your ideal social type, but I thought it kinda suited his personality. Made him interesting. I almost didn't want to leave Miyagi that day-"

"I'm sure I saw Taketora-san crying, not you," Yamaguchi whispered under his breath.

"-but we kept on meeting again and again, so yeah," Kuroo gave him a bright, satisfied grin. "That's all, I guess. You could say he was pretty attractive for me."

Yamaguchi tilted his head. "Uh, is that it?"

"Yeah. Why, is it not enough?"

"No, I mean-"

"The only thing you talked about was my apparent, pretty non-existent cuteness," Tsukishima cut in coldly, crossing his legs and staring a hole through Kuroo's innocent face. "Unless you want to sound like a jerk who judges people based solely on their looks, I think you should give a more constructive answer for getting published."

"Aww," Kuroo smirked, a spark of victory playing in his light amber eyes. "If I did that, you'd be miffed, no? You always get annoyed when I say how totally awesome you are, leaving out your equally awesome visuals." He crept closer, until he was only a breath away from Tsukishima's ear, voice low but audible. "There's only one time you don't mind me complimenting you, and we can't have that here, sweetheart."

Yamaguchi almost regrets leaving his camera behind on the desk, because Tsukishima blazes a fiery red from his toes to the tips of his hair, eyes wide, hands clenching tight in his lap; and it's a sight Yamaguchi has never seen before. Never ever _ever_. Kuroo's words leave a lot of things unsaid, and it has Yamaguchi blushing as well. He doesn't have it in himself to clear his throat, so instead he weakly asks, "Um, Tsukki? Do you have an answer to this question?"

"I'll tell you _after_ I've killed this man and had him burned alive in the darkest pits of Hell." His teeth gritted, eyes a golden poison, Tsukki looked _venomous_ , and again, _Why the hell did I not bring my camera?_

"That means a no," Kuroo remarks, voice saccharine-sweet. He's a healthy distance away from Tsukki, probably realising what's the best for his health. "Let's move on the next question, shall we?"

"Yeah, okay. So," Yamaguchi looks down, glancing once at his questionnaire and actually feeling excited about this, "When did you first decide to date each other? Or, how did you realise that you liked the other person enough to date them in the future?"

"Ooof, bad timing, Freckles-kun," Kuroo remarks, a hand playing with the dark strands on his head. "The way Kei's all riled up, I'm pretty sure he's going to shatter every good image I've built so far. Do carefully edit this thing, okay?"

"There'll be no need of that," Tsukishima replies before Yamaguchi can answer. He's calmed down a bit, but his ears haven't let go of their embarrassment. "Truth hurts _really_ bad, and that's life. Suck it up." He uncrosses his legs, and stares at Yamaguchi like a man with a mission. "Let me tell you what a disaster of a human being Kuroo Tetsurou actually is, was, and will forever be in this life."

Yamaguchi gulps, in unison with Kuroo. Tsukishima lowers his head, hands clenching, glasses flashing; and literally actually _explodes_. 

"To begin with, it had taken me a good whole _year_ to realise that a person like him was actually important in my normal way of life," he remarks with snark, shuffling away as Kuroo tries to get him to stop talking. "Because really, his text messages were horrible, and so were his calls. He started our first chat conversation by calling me _Tsukki_ , and I don't allow that of anybody unless it's a very special person I know. (Yamaguchi blushed, gratified. He didn't know Tsukki liked him that much.) It's an immediate deal-breaker, and I almost didn't speak with him, until he went ahead and added _Bokuto-san_ to the chat. I mean, of _all_ people in the world- that huge, hyper-excited bundle of energy can type like there's no tomorrow, every second of the day. Even when I was in school, my phone kept vibrating in my pocket like a squid suffering from asphyxia-" 

"Ah," Yamaguchi nods, as Kuroo grimaces. "That's why you were so cranky those days after the training camp."

"-and I have _priorities_ , okay? I have limits, and studies, so one random night, I text him back to make Bokuto-san stop texting me, and he immediately throws him out of the chat. I mean, I knew he was heartless, but not _that_ heartless. So despite every instinct asking me to stop, I go ahead and add him again, probably committing the greatest mistake of my life."

"Yeah, I got a huge kick in the face for that," Kuroo reminisces, rubbing his chin. "But hey, I was the one who added Akaashi in, so you can't say it's been totally bad, you know?"

"True, Bokuto-san's boyfriend is a lot saner than Bokuto-san," Tsukishima glares at Kuroo, nose scrunching up in painful nostalgia. "But that doesn't make _you_ any less guilty."

"Aww Kei, I know you secretly liked it."

"I've never admitted that in my life, and theories do not count. Stop talking, Tetsurou."

"Then say something good about me."

"I refuse. You have absolutely nothing I can talk about-"

"I _so_ do. Say something good about me, Kei."

"I said no-"

"I said _please_ -"

"You never said _please_ -"

Yamaguchi's pen runs over the pages at a faster-than-lightning speed. In all honesty, he knows too little about love, and none of his questions have been answered properly till now- but _this_ , this is the true essence of a couple right here. Love personified. The light banters, the furious exchange of expressions; the way they disagree on every single thing, but never stray an inch away on the couch more than what was strictly needed. At this point, Yamaguchi wouldn't mind if both of them started making out on the couch- he's too invested in this couple for what was probably healthy for a complete outsider, and he's already getting the mind-blowing interview he needed. Life has never been better.

Oikawa-san was going to be _so_ happy.

"Yamaguchi? What are you doing?"

Yamaguchi looks up, surprised to see Kuroo and Tsukishima sitting closer to each other than before, fingers lightly intertwined. Heads brushing, eyes curious, their fight seemed to be long over, miraculously. "Um," Yamaguchi stares at his notes, and then at his questionnaire. "Writing, I guess? My recorder broke just last week, and my phone's out of charge, so-"

"Wait," Kuroo blinked, incredulous. "Are you serious? You're actually taking down our arguments? Is that supposed to be a part of this interview?"

"Well, I don't think so." Yamaguchi smiles sheepishly, scratching his cheek. "But it's fun, I guess? These make it a lot more interesting to read, a lot more real- and it's you guys giving the interview, so it'd be unfair if these parts are cut out, you know?"

"Wow," Kuroo whistles, wrapping a toned hand around Tsukishima's waist with practised ease. "You might be the most hardworking journalist I've ever seen, Freckles-kun."

"Hmm," Tsukishima tucks his chin over Kuroo's shoulder, glancing at Yamaguchi with something akin to pride. "And how many journalists have you met before, Tetsurou?"

"Uh, probably none?"

"Then I think it's a good start. A great one, actually."

Kuroo grins, sharp teeth glinting bright in the sunlight. "Oh yeah?" he leans closer, closing his eyes as his forehead comes to rest upon Tsukishima's own. "If it's you, then I guess it's okay. Your recommendations always exceed expectation, Kei."

Yamaguchi has never been complimented so indirectly before. He's grateful, really; but at the moment, his jaw hangs open like a character in a comic manga, eyes as wide as round, golden-plated saucers.

Seriously, how did things turn out like this? Only a moment ago, these two were at each others' throats, arguing and bantering like crazy at every impossible thing; now here they were, sitting close enough to kiss, almost oblivious to the presence of a third person in the room, looking like the most tranquil people in the whole wide world. Yamaguchi admits he knows nothing about love, nothing at all unless it had something to do with sloppy, soft french fries or multicoloured volleyballs. He knows almost nothing about it- but if it could be such a complicated thing to understand, such an absolute mystery to uncover, then he doesn't know if he can decipher it or not.

Love was so totally _confusing_. Five-years-and-still-going-strong couples even more so. Why was he taking this interview again?

  


( _"For Valentine's Day~"_ a miniature Oikawa-san sing-songs in his head, twirling an annoyed Iwaizumi-san around, as Yamaguchi crashes back to reality.)

  


"Well," he clears his throat, even though he feels terrible to break the moment his friend was having with his boyfriend. "In all honesty, you guys haven't given a single proper answer to any of my questions. But," he raises a hand before Kuroo can interrupt him with a hurried apology, "I have to say that this is one of the best interviews I've got in my life. Thanks a lot for your time. Just answer a few generic questions for the readers, and we can be finished here."

"Okay, shoot," Kuroo straightens up, jaw set determinedly. "I swear I'll answer properly this time."

"Then, first question," Yamaguchi smiles, Tsukki returning it secretly. "What do you think is most important to maintain a good dating relationship?"

Kuroo brought a chin to his hand, thinking deeply. Tsukishima just huffed, perhaps at the borderline cliche quality of the questions, leaning forward reluctantly.

" _Common sense,_ " he replies blandly, as Kuroo slightly blanches. "If you think you can survive spending a considerable amount of time with another person without trying to act like a different you, then there's nothing better. It all comes down to the upsides and downsides of the thing, and if you think you can manage being together in the worst of situations, then you're probably going to have a better dating life than most."

"Wow. Doesn't he give the best advice ever?" Kuroo leans towards Tsukishima, who scowls in childish defiance. "I'm not _that_ cautious when it comes to dating, really, but I must say I thought a lot before finally asking Kei out. Bokuto was almost fed up with me but, yeah... I think what's most important is to see how compatible you can be with each other in the most difficult of times. Even in college- maybe when you're totally stressed out, or extremely tired, or just plain grumpy- it's those moments that prove how two people can deal with the most shitty parts of themselves effectively. Taking care of each other, or giving yourselves space- it could be anything, and those moments count for a lot in the long run. A lot more than most people realise."

 _That's... pretty deep. I guess he speaks from experience._ Yamaguchi smiles. "Next, number two. How do you think people should handle arguments or break-ups in relationships? A number of people fall in love everyday, but there are a lot more broken hearts than smiles 'round the campus, honestly."

"I want to meet the person who set these questions," Tsukishima mutters quietly, under his breath. "It takes quite the lack of creativity to make up such an extremely original questionnaire."

"Only Oikawa can turn a love interview into a social psychology session," Kuroo remarks, grinning. "I dunno how other people should handle things, 'cuz things affect people differently. In my case though, if Kei's ever angry at me, or vice versa, we just tend to find a corner to cool off before we can have a quiet, mature conversation. We have frequent arguments, honestly- but they rarely last for long. I think it's more about understanding each other, how they react to things, stuff like that. A break-up's inevitable if two people are not compatible, and I guess it's best if we give ourselves some time to mope and then get on with life."

"There are a lot of things that can hurt us, including people," Tsukishima adds with a shake of his head. "It's for us to decide for how long we want to be affected by it. And how to recover."

"Then, how about some advice?" Yamaguchi nibbles on his pen thoughtfully. It's the last question, and he almost misses this. "What advice would you give to all those people looking for love out there?"

Tsukishima glances once at Kuroo, then smirks.

"If the best friend of your strange text buddy sends you atrocious snoring videos of said text buddy, then be sure to block his number. Erase him from your existence, if legally possible. That'd be enough to have a healthy romantic life, honestly. Or they might be stuck with a weirdo like _this_ ," he jabs a finger a Kuroo, too mirthful to be sarcastic ,"for life."

Kuroo groans, very realistically, and he almost looks _pained_ as he says, "Okay, first, I did _not_ know Bokuto recorded me when I slept, that dickhead," he grimaces, face-palming in utter defeat. "That was a one time incident I don't want a repeat of, and I swear it's not how bad it sounds."

"Oh please," Tsukishima scoffs, half-smiling. "Your snores can wake up a bear from hibernation."

"Then how do _you_ manage sleeping next to me every night, huh?"

"Why do you think I like my headphones so much? It's called being inventive, Tetsu."

"Kei, I _swear_. There are people here, please don't harass my innocence like this."

"You don't _have_ an innocence, Tetsu. Stop lying-"

"Ahem," Yamaguchi coughs, wanting to laugh and cry and fucking wrap these two in a giant bear hug already. "I think that'd be all for today. Tsukki, Kuroo-san, thank you very much for giving me some time of your day. It's been a wonderful experience, and I can assure you that this Valentine's edition of _Student Weekly_ is going to be amazing."

"Tadashi," Tsukishima says, adjusting his glasses. "Are you really going to publish all our conversations? I'm not sure if it'll be any good like that."

"Well, it needs a bit of editing, but once Yachi-san is done with it, I'm sure it'll be pretty awesome. Everyone's going to _love_ it."

"I'll be looking forward to it then," Kuroo grins, standing up from his seat, stretching his arms like a lazy house cat. "Let's see if Bokuto can guess it's us after reading the interview. I'm particularly excited about Akaashi's reaction, honestly."

"You wish," Tsukishima huffs, then looks at Yamaguchi. Smiles a little. "Let me see you out, Tadashi. I'm glad you're even alive after this."

Yamaguchi smiles, his brightest yet, all teeth and freckles and bright, enthused eyes. He still doesn't know a lot about love, but he thinks he's better. "Never been better," he says honestly, gratefully. "Thank you so much for today, Tsukki."

"Don't mention it."

  


**.**  
**.**

  


**[Bonus]:**

  


_Editor-san Oikawa calling..._

Click.

"Hello? Oikawa-san?"

_"YAMAGUCHI."_

"Uh, yes? Did you get my article, Okiawa-sa-"

_"This is all about that damn article! Tell me, who was it that you interviewed for that?"_

"Um, isn't that supposed to be confidential?"

_"Fuck confidential. I need the names right now. This, this is a brilliant piece!"_

"But, isn't it breaking the rules-"

_"I make the rules here, Yama-kun. I need those names, so that I can come and personally thank them for this. Such an awesome, hilarious masterpiece, even Iwa-chan couldn't have procured one so fantastic-"_

"Uh, are you sure?"

_"I've never been more sure, Yama-kun. Now out with the names."_

"Um, okay then."

_"..."_

"..."

_"Hello, Yamaguchi-kun?"_

"Yes. Oikawa-san, Kuroo-san says hi."

  


_Click._

  


**Author's Note:**

> The end. :))
> 
> Thanks for reading! It's close to midnight, and this is a very hurried post. If anyone liked this even a little, I would love it if you dropped a kudos or comment! Bye bye, and have a great day/night! :)
> 
> EDIT: I've finally edited this, so I hope this does not have more grammatical errors than I would want to imagine. Thank you a lot for your comments, each of them truly brighten up my day! Also, if you liked this, feel free to check out my other Kurotsuki fantasy series, Moonlit Escapades... I've put a lot of effort in it, and I can assure you to be at least remotely interested... :DD


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